I was both moved and bothered by the many speeches I heard at two Memorial Day celebrations last Monday in Sartell and Rice.
The speeches were moving because what the speakers said was so true – that all veterans must be honored, respected and never forgotten.
What bothered me, though, is so many people in our nation, especially politicians, trumpet wars that later prove to be unjust and/or unwinnable. Vietnam was one of them, and the never-ending wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are two other examples.
The honorable men and women who served so selflessly, in many cases dying or being wounded, deserve our utmost respect and gratitude, regardless of whether a particular war is or was unjust. Those men and women sacrificed in ways most of us cannot even imagine.
Their sacrifices, as the Memorial Day speakers rightly noted, should never be forgotten. But sadly, during the other 364 days in a year, too many veterans tend to be forgotten, off the radar. That thought kept occurring to me during the speeches.
We must all do more than just give rhetorical tributes to veterans one day a year, Memorial Day. First of all, what would really help is we should hold warmongering elected officials accountable for getting us into unjust or unwinnable wars. It’s become all too easy for presidents and officials to send others off to serve, suffer and die. That said, not all conflicts are avoidable, but at the very least there must be exit strategies and we should stick to them.
In addition, we should be giving all veterans our gratitude – and our help – 365 days a year. The speakers at the ceremonies, I’d bet, would agree with that. But we’ve got to put words into actions.
Many veterans are homeless, many cannot find jobs, some are waiting a long time for desperately needed forms of care, some struggle to get disability payments and so many are trying to adjust to life back home. Still others are so filled with frustration and anguish they are committing suicide.
Those are problems we can all help do something about. We have to keep elected officials’ feet to the fire to make certain veterans’ services are funded to the max and the very best help is made available medically and psychologically. It’s a shameful irony this country can spend billions and trillions on wars and yet too often cannot seem to find enough money and expertise to help veterans. They should receive the top moral responsibility from this nation. Some elected leaders do realize that and try their best to help veterans – leaders like Rep. Tim O’Driscoll (R-Sartell).
Not to forget, many of today’s veterans were deployed in terrible danger zones multiple times. Each time they return home, their former world – the civilian world – seems almost alien in many cases, and adaptation and reintegration becomes a struggle.
What is most needed in every case is a solid emotional support network from family members, friends, co-workers and acquaintances, and that network has to go hand-in-hand with a solid, reliable medical and psychological network. Research shows veterans who had contemplated taking their own lives do not do so once they are fortunate enough to hook up with solid social and medical networks of support.
The very least all of us can do is listen. Listen closely with compassion and then try to understand. And here is why. The following was posted on a website dedicated to returning soldiers. It was written by an unnamed veteran:
“When I got home everything was changed. You missed out on months of life back home and have no idea where the time has passed. Your kids are older, your wife acts differently, your friends look at you differently, but it’s all because the veteran has changed. Having no connection to the world, no news, no TV, no magazines, you are in kind of a shock to see so much has changed and you feel like you lost out on it.
“Your mind is still in combat mode. You constantly are on watch and get startled easily and all you think about is the things you saw. For both of my tours I had a panic attack when I finally got back home. You feel like you don’t know what to do. You are confused about how to act and talk. And you know nobody is going to understand what you did.”
All veterans have to relearn their former world, all over again. That is why all of us have to start listening to them every day of the year and then helping them with their needs – both minor and major.
