I quit smoking; you can too!

(Note to readers: Several people who want to quit smoking recently emailed me and asked if I would again publish the following column. It was originally published in the Aug. 23, 2013 Newsleaders.)

I quit smoking. Twice.

The first time was in 1987. For six months. All it took is “just one” cigarette. Hooked again.

The second time was eight years ago, and I haven’t so much as had a whiff since. Several doctors and nurses I’ve met suggested I should write a list of cessation tips to share with others. Here is my tip list:

1. First, remember it’s never too late to quit. As one gets older and keeps smoking, the chance of horrible adverse effects increases, including debilitating emphysema, not to mention lung cancer.
2. Before you quit, make a list of all the bad things about smoking: wheezy breathing, hacking cough, bad breath, stained teeth, smelly clothing, filthy ash trays, stinky house, danger of starting a fire, exposing others to your smoke, the escalating costs of buying cigarettes, the likelihood of developing one disease or another. My bad list contained about 50 items. My good list consisted of exactly one item: the pleasure of smoking coffee with a cup of coffee or glass of beer. Stick your bad and good lists on the refrigerator and refer to them every time you get a yen to smoke.
3. Quit smoking on a weekend. That is because you will become very crabby for a few days so it’s best to stay away from people. During the first couple of days you will feel as if you are turning into a werewolf that snarls, curses, kicks furniture and scares any human in sight.
4. I chose cold turkey as my quitting method because I purposely wanted to go through the hell of withdrawal, which would be a reminder never to take up smoking again, thus not wanting to re-experience withdrawal again some day if I’d ever try to quit again. If I’d chose gum or patches, knowing me I’m sure I would have rationalized: “Oh, well, I’ll just have one or two cigarettes, then I can always get some more gum or patches, like next week, maybe. That’s an example of what addiction experts call “stinky thinking.” Although I recommend cold turkey, you must choose any method you feel will be best for you.
5. Before your last cigarette, get ready to hunker down with your favorite snacks, hobbies or tasks to keep you busy. Such “alternatives” are essential for success. They are things you can do immediately when a craving strikes. When it does, move immediately to a different room or another place, away from the place that set off the craving (frequently your favorite chair). Get out of that chair, take a brisk walk, do the dishes, vacuum, dust – anything but lighting up a smoke. The alternative options must involve some kind of motion.
6. Be always on guard against “stinky thinking.” During the first few days, you will become light-headed and ornery, and your mind will play all kinds of sneaky tricks. In my case, for example, I kept having a foolish obsession to hurry down to the mobile-home communal mailbox to mail letters or bills. Even though I had nothing to mail for those few days, I kept feeling a jittery mania to get down to that mailbox. And then it dawned on me the mailbox is about 30 feet from the store where I always bought my Basic menthol cigarettes. The “devil” inside me knew if he could get me down to the mailbox, he could then unleash temptations that would push me right over to that store, and I would probably cave in, thinking foolishly, “Oh, what the heck, why not just buy a pack. I can always quit later. Sometime.” Those kinds of temptations will plague you for awhile. They are sneaky; they sneak up on you. But you must be persistent. Outwit them. Be strong and tell the nicotine devil to get lost. Shout it!
7. Kindly ask smoking friends to stay away from you for a week or two, or at least request them to smoke outdoors, away from you. Meanwhile, avoid any and all things that trigger your urge to smoke, like that morning coffee, that nighttime glass of beer.
8. Keep reviewing your bad/good lists and keep doing activities (brisk walks really are the best).
9. Indulge often in positive projections. Visualize how your gunky lungs are turning from tar-black sludge to healthy fleshy pink. Think how the chance of health problems and lethal diseases are diminishing. Picture what you’ll be able to buy with money no longer spent on cigarettes. For example, a pack-a-day smoker could easily afford a two-week trip for two to an exotic locale for what is spent on one year’s worth of smokes – 365 packs.
10. I wish you the best of luck. I’ve often said if I could quit smoking, anybody can. That is because I enjoyed smoking and virtually chain-smoked for many – far too many – years. And please remember through your first days of struggle how happy you’ll be that you finally, finally achieved the “impossible.” You quit; be proud; congratulate yourself.