Those who take their own lives believe it’s a way out of unbearable problems. Yes, that it is. But, sadly, it’s a permanent way out.
Those who came right up to the point of suicide or survived an attempt have spoken how happy they were that something or someone saved them. In one case, a teenage boy unlocked his dad’s gun cabinet and was ready to shoot himself when his younger sister popped into the house earlier than expected from school. He quickly put the gun back in the cabinet, not wanting her to be the one to find his body. He later spoke of the terror he felt about coming so close to his final moment.
Tragically, the suicide rate is at a 30-year high and has increased in just about every age group, especially among girls ages 10 to 14. There were 42,773 suicides in 2014 (all age groups combined) compared to 29,199 in 1999, according to a 15-year study by the National Center of Health Statistics. Wyoming had the highest rate (38 per 100,000 people). Minnesota ranked 40th, with 11 per 100,000. New York and New Jersey had the lowest rates.
There have been heartbreaking cases of suicide right here in central Minnesota, including all the cities in the greater St. Cloud area. In one case, a high-school boy in Sartell shot himself in his backyard. His parents expressed their heartbreak and sorrow in an interview with the Newsleader years ago. Like many loved ones of suicide victims, those parents constantly agonized about “What ifs?” and “Why didn’ts?”
“What if we’d done that differently or this other thing differently.”
“Why didn’t we notice signs?”
The good news is suicide it preventable, but only if there is open communication between the sufferer, family, friends and others. Most who take their own lives are, obviously, depressed to a bleak degree, although they often do not express that feeling of hopelessness. They clam up, and that is why it’s so important to try kindly to get them to express what they are feeling, thinking. Dangers to watch for include a string of disappointments, romantic break-ups, financial problems, lack of confidence, family issues, depression following a divorce, gambling problems, plummeting grades, lack of interest in just about everything, disruptive sleep patterns, and excessive drug and alcohol use.
The best way to approach people who may be suicidal is to kindly, gently encourage them to discuss their thoughts, feelings and problems and to ask them if they have thoughts of harming themselves. Then guide them gently toward help. There are many resources and avenues for prevention, including a texting network in which depressed people can share their feelings and learn how to cope.
All people, especially parents, should write down the following information and keep it in the phone book.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Suicide Texting Help: text “help” to 741-741.
There is also a wealth of information online. Google “Suicide Prevention” to learn about symptoms, danger signs and how to help those who may be inclined to take that terrible and irrevocable “final solution.”
