As Mother’s Day approaches, Sunday, May 8, many people become sad and even depressed because their beloved mothers are no longer among the living. Father’s Day can be a sad day for the same reason.
Dr. Gail Saltz, a New York-based psychiatrist, has all kinds of wise advice for such motherless and fatherless people.
“There’s no need to pretend it (Mother’s Day) is not a melancholy time for you,” she said. “Nearly everyone whose mother is absent feels bereft.”
And then she adds, so insightfully: “Grief is just love with nowhere to go.”
Saltz recommends various ways to honor a dearly departed mother on Mother’s Day.
- Do something your mother loved and would approve of. For example, if she loved animals, consider volunteering that day or that week at a local animal shelter. Mothers can also be honored by donating, in her memory and name, to any charity you knew she favored.
- If you have a big-enough yard, plant your mother’s favorite tree or plant the kinds of flowers and vegetables she loved.
- Share photos and memories of your mom with other family members or friends or post them on social media.
- Call family members and share with them a few favorite stories of your mother and how much she meant to you.
- Spend the day in nature, hiking or biking, to enjoy “the infinite cycle of nature,” as Saltz calls it. Being in nature, enjoying its beauty, can have a very calming, relaxing and reassuring effect.
- Cook your favorite childhood meal, one your mother used to make. Share the meal with family and friends or just cook it for yourself if you like. Another good reason for making your mother’s comfort food at home is there is a risk in dining out that you might see men and women treating their mothers to a dinner, and that sight and the happiness of it could bring on sadness or depression.
- Write a letter to your mother about what’s been going on in your life and how much you miss her. The letter can be kept and reread on future Mother’s Days.
- Saltz says it’s OK to cry all day if you feel you need that. On the other hand, Mother’s Day is also a good time to pamper oneself and try to be happy because, as Saltz emphasizes: “Our dearly departed moms would want us to be happy and do whatever is best for us.”
Whatever you decide to do on Mother’s Day, we hope all people – those with mothers and those without – have a good day in celebrating and honoring their mothers, no matter which form that celebration takes.
