Here is a sentence I just read in a newspaper: “The driver lost control of the car and crashed into a stop sign, but charges are not expected to be filed against them.”
I did a quick double-take. What?! Was the “driver” of that car one of two conjoined twins? How did the singular “driver” suddenly morph into “them” – the plural “drivers?”
When reading various newspapers, I do that double-take almost constantly these days. There is a trend afoot that it’s grammatically acceptable to use a singular subject (i.e. driver) with a plural pronoun (i.e. them). To which I say “Not!”
The reason for that kind of sentence construction is to keep the writing gender-neutral. It’s often used in deference to trans people and/or underage victims of sexual assaults. Being sensitive to people’s identities and feelings is a good thing. However, there is a way to write or re-write a sentence that is not so double-take awkward as the “driver/them” sentence.
This is how I would have edited that to make it gender-neutral: The driver crashed into the side of the house, and charges are expected to be filed against that driver.”
As a news editor, I always change those sentences to singular-singular or plural-plural.
Here are some other English-usage glitches that make this nitpicking English major grit his teeth.
Different
The use of the word “different” is a constant redundancy (needless duplication) these days.
We often hear or read the following:
“We offer 13 different flavors of soft drinks.” Duh. Let us hope each of the 13 flavors is different. Wouldn’t it be a bummer if the root beer, the orange drink and the lemon-lime fizz all tasted the same?
“The singer’s latest CD contains 12 different songs.” It’s sure nice to know those songs aren’t the same one played over and over 12 times.
“We visited seven different countries on our vacation in South America.” Good thing too. Who would want to visit the same country seven times during one vacation?
Past participles
The incorrect usage of past participles can drive me up a wall.
Examples:
“We have already saw (seen) that movie.”
“She has ran (run) for office.”
“He has wrote (written) a letter of support.”
“I have already ate (eaten).”
To form most past-tense verbs, all one has to do is add “ed” to the verb stem. Example: “They walk, they walked, they have walked.”
However, there are some verbs – not too many fortunately – that are “irregular” and thus require different past participles. Examples: to be, was/were and been (past participle); to take, took, taken; to eat, ate, eaten; to do, did, done. And so forth.
So
The “so” trend began, out of the blue, about 10 years ago.
“How far is Duluth?” you ask somebody.
“So (very slight pause here) it’s about 150 miles from St. Cloud.”
You ask somebody, “Is the watermelon ripe yet?”
“So (tiny breath here) it could be sweeter.”
“Did you enjoy the concert?” you ask.
“So (pause) we got there late, but the second half was lots of fun.”
Tour, tourist
This lamentable trend began about 20 years ago with some people (especially just about every TV news host) pronouncing tour as tore, tourist as tore-ist, tourism as tore-ism.
Last I checked – just today – dictionaries online and in print still have them pronounced as toor, toorist, toorism.
Misplaced apostrophes
Aargh! Don’t even get me started!
Change
To be sure, English and other languages, like living beings, do evolve over time due to so many influences. But, sad to say, slap-dash, sloppy communications via computer (emails and more) have taken a toll on the beauty of our magnificent English language.
It makes a person wonder if on Mars some future day, an American-Martian will be talking like this: “So (gulp here), a driver crashed the rover, but they wasn’t injured. Today, we’ve already saw three different groups of U.S. tore-ists, and do they talk weird!”
