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Cultural connections: ‘I am just your ordinary neighbor’

December 11, 2020
in Print Editions, Print St. Joseph
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Cultural connections: ‘I am just your ordinary neighbor’

Haynes

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I am new to St. Joseph and though not an immigrant or refugee, I do come from a different culture…the South.

I was born in Mississippi, and until moving North at age 10, I never knew any White people. I did not know anything about being judged by one’s skin color because all of my friends and family are Black.

We lived with my mother’s parents on a large rural parcel of land owned by my grandparents. In one small house there resided my grandparents, mother, four aunts and six children.

Haynes

We are a very tight-knit family, and when my grandparents moved to Milwaukee, we all followed! We lived in a very large house in a Black neighborhood, and I was bused to school. It was there I had my first experience of feeling different and less than.

My cousin and I were the only two Black children in the elementary school. I remember my mother telling me to always be respectful. Now I understand she was gently giving me fair warning: Because of your skin color, more will be expected of you than of your classmates. Be extra good!

All of my teachers were White. I remember an incident that confused me at the time. My classmate and I were going over some school work with the teacher. My classmate said, “I think I get the hang of it.” I piped in, “Well, I already have the hang of it!” My teacher got very upset, telling me I should never, ever say “the hang of it.” She was furious, and I was shaken and confused because she hadn’t corrected my White classmate. I didn’t know how to feel, and I never told my mom.

I now understand what bothered her was the word hang, which might trigger memories of lynching. Because my mom and grandmother were such strong role models, I never got blown away by these subtle examples of racism, but they still occur today, and they still sting.

Today, I live with my husband and three children and work at Serenity Place as a home-care assistant.

I am hard-working, kind and resourceful. I am a good spouse, good mother, good daughter and a great cook.

I am Black, and I am proud! Let’s see past my skin color. I am just your ordinary neighbor.

Respectfully,

Allair Haynes

•••

If you have any questions, contact Juliana Howard at 715-791-8976 or Jamal Elmi at 320-310-2351.

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