In the past few years, a strange new word has been making the rounds – “gaslighting.”
Every time I’ve heard or read that word, I assumed it meant “to lie, to ridicule, to denigrate” because it was usually used in regard to nasty politicians and their bluster. But I kept thinking what an odd word it is.
Here is an example I just read the other day from podcaster Joe Rogan:
“They (Republicans and Democrats) gaslight you, they manipulate you, they promote narratives . . . ”
Then it dawned on me the word might have been “filched” from a classic 1944 American movie, “Gaslight,” starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. I watched that spellbinding film on a TV movie channel way back when.
I did some research the other day and – sure enough – the word does stem from that old movie.
“Gaslight” takes place in London in the late 1800s. An opera singer has been murdered in her swank townhouse. The singer’s niece, Paula, is in Italy at the time. Later, she meets a charming man, Gregory, a man who just happened to know her aunt in London. She marries him. The couple moves back to London, right into the house owned by the singer before her death.
Little does Paula know, the man is not so charming after all. She has no idea he is the one who killed her aunt and who wants a stash of priceless jewels she owned, among other valuables.
Paula soon becomes unnerved when she frequently hears the sound of footsteps from the attic and other strange goings-on in the house, such as the frequent dimming of the gaslights on the walls (gaslights are lamps illuminated via gas).
Gregory’s wicked plan is to convince Paula she is losing her mind so he can have her committed and thus inherit the deceased singer’s estate. He keeps assuring Paula she is just imagining those strange things she hears and sees – to the point where she begins to feel unbalanced, even terrified she might indeed be losing her mind.
But finally, over time, Paula notices clues and evidence she is being manipulated by the man she thought she loved. She calls the police. Her former lover is hauled away.
Thus, the word “gaslight” means to manipulate another person or many people to believe in something that is not true, that people should not trust the facts or their own reasoning powers.
The use of the word “gaslighting” first appeared not too many years ago in a British court ruling when it was determined a woman’s abusive partner tried to convince her she had a bipolar mental disorder. She didn’t.
In 2016, the American Dialect Society called “gaslighting” the “Most Useful Word of the Year.” Some claim it was Donald Trump whose behavior made “gaslighting” an often-used word because of his efforts to convince some people to believe things contrary to facts and evidence. For example: His constant claims that the 2020 election was “stolen” from him.
The American Psychological Association defines “gaslighting” as “manipulating another person(s) into doubting their own perceptions, experiences or understanding of events” for the benefit of the manipulator(s).
Here are some sure signs of gaslighting manipulation:
Gaslighters tell blatant, outrageous lies to their victims.
They repeatedly deny saying what you know they said – to the point they are believed.
They convince victims the things and people they most value should not be valued.
They tear a person down and build that person back up only to tear them down again.
They create constant confusion to the point where their victims don’t know what to believe anymore.
They project their own flaws onto their victims.
They convince their victims that everyone is lying – that is, everyone but the gaslighter and the victim.
Gaslighting is common behavior within abusive relationships, but it is also – alas – now so common in this world of divisive and even vicious political polarities.
